it's over

Once again, work is over. It's time for a new shift. I'm going to go to Boone NC on Tuesday, and then I'm going to go to Asheville and hangout there for a little while- and then I'm going to go to Aunt Barbs on Thursday. I'll be there for 2 weeks house sitting for her. I'm a little concerned about being there for 2 weeks by myself with no one else for company- or work. I know I'll be bored. 

I'm sure I'll be catching up on any writing I can do and reading. 

It's such a crazy life. I don't know one end from the next. I don't know what steps to take. 

dreams again

I dreamed of him again last night. I think it started with a dream of me finally buying my ticket to Cozemel, and he was on the same connecting flight out of lafayette. Then it changed to a dream that we both lived on the same property- we weren't speaking still. He got a dog- that like me more than him, so he called it a traitor. He got a kitten also, that got out and got lost in the in the meadow, - it was kind of my fault, so I had the dog help me go find it. He was having visitors come up to see his work shop, so I'd tell them where to find him. Towards the end of the dream he was starting to speak to me again- instead of the awkward "I see you, but I'm not going to acknowledge you."
 Dreams. I tell ya.
It's subconsciously the thing I want most, though obviously I'm saying it now.  I hate the wall. I hate not being allowed to speak to him. I hate that I can't go over to his parents house because he'll be there. I hate that he wishes to have nothing whatsoever to do with me.
Why do I still miss him?
Why is there no one else?