What a month. Overall, not a fan.
Car died, had to buy a new one, it's more than I can afford, so I'm not super thrilled about that. Will have to get refinanced in a few months.
I feel like I'm still struggling with everything all the time.
Book is finished though, waiting on cover art and final edits. So that's cool.
Uncle has been down here like 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off, which I can say is very very annoying. It is their house though. So oh well.
I still need to get my name out there with the life coaching. I hope the book will help. But that still needs to be published and marketed. And I don't fkn have any money. Everything is so expensive, all the time.
Heath. It's a never ending roller coaster. He finally came home last week- and I got to see him 3 times. I can say hands down the best sex of my entire life.
I went out on a date with someone else. (Had me very conflicted about it, because I'd started talking to him when H wasn't talking to me.)
But, it was a bust. The chemistry wasn't there and there were alot of things that gave me pause about him.
H. His mental health is not good. He's floundering with work, and that defines so much of him, that he get lost. So, he pushes me away, and doesn't talk. I don't know if there's anyone else, but I don't think so. I tell myself that there is just so that if there is, it won't bother me as much, This is how I have to retain my sanity in a roller coaster relationship. I really don't think it will always be like this. I swear, every time we are together, things get better and better. He's started telling me that he loves me more, which is a good thing. I know he does, he just has these mental blocks. I guess after almost 4 years of this, I'm pretty good at mirroring his ebb and flow. I know I deserve better and more, and he knows it too. He makes no promises, and so he isn't breaking anything.
My side? I simply love him as deeply and as intensely as he'll let me- embracing him for who he is right now, and hope for the future. I don't know what else I can do.
