There's just been so much, and not at all at the same time.
H called to apologize as he does. I went over, as I do, and the cycle continues. He tried to talk to me a little bit in the days following, but then stopped trying. He said he feels like he is two people. The person he wants to be and the one he acts like sometimes. Yet how is the second the one that wins.
Kyle- my neighbor that I met on Match, I went to swim with him at our gym this morning. I felt weird about it. It's probably not right to keep him interested. He's nice enough, and I could see myself messing around with him, but the soul connection is not there.
But listen to this story. Isaiah. So a few months back I think he reposted something of Justin McRoberts, and so it showed up on Justin's story. I don't remember why I followed him, maybe because he mentioned hope as much as he does, maybe because he's a writer, maybe because... who knows. I thought he was married with kids and was a little surprised when he followed me back, 'cause married dudes don't follow girls like me unless... yeah. Anyway. Out of the blue he tried calling me on Instagram on Monday. I was shocked, our interactions have been very limited to a few likes here and there. I texted him back, because I was at work. "Did you mean to call me?" The answer came back that yes, yes he did. I managed to get out back and return his call a little while later. He was coming to florida and felt like he should see where I am and if maybe I'd like to meet up. He was going to Ocala. I agreed, I'm always down to meet new people. I was still a little be worried about the being married thing though, was he actually, or not? His instagram didn't mention a wife and I'd seen a ring on his finger on some of his posts, but they were old ones. He called me Tuesday night and we talked for several hours. He is no longer married. Divorced over a year, has 5 kids though. Seems to have a few demons, like we all do. But, he is passionate about people. About helping people feel loved and be healed. His idea for a campground is basically a more rustic version of what my dream for the sanctuary bnb thing that I have in mind. I let him talk before I shared my dreams, I didn't want to let him know right away that our visions for the future were the same.
The whole thing has been straight up crazy. I'm going to meet him in person tomorrow- we're going to go to Juniper Springs and go exploring there. He flies out of Sanford next week- and we have plans for next week too, if all goes well.
I feel... intrigued. But also concerned, because why do we have the same life plan? What is God doing right now? It freaks me the f out. And what about H? Fucking H.
