so it happened as I suspected

 As anticipated he did come home. He saw me because he was sad. And then I got sad because it was one sided. Sent him a message about it after he subsequently left. and haven't heard from him since. Today is his birthday. 

I'm so upset

 I'm so upset with you. 

I haven't seen you in 8 months, yet you "might" try to see me after I get off work at midnight on friday? 

I'm so hurt. I don't even know what to do. I want to just be done with you. I sent you an email, but apparently you didn't read it. I thought that would do it. Maybe I need to send the other one, the one that spells it all out. 

My heart wants to forgive you though. Because that what it does, but this is a pattern of behavior. Stuck in the IF HE WANTED TO HE WOULD box. It's clear by the actions that I am not what you want, despite any words you might say from time to time.