not

 Well, I'm not moving back to the outer banks, at least, not at this point.  I got the job, but turned it down.  I need to focus on my goals first. My parents got a loan out, so they should be good for a little while.  Maybe the end of the year, or something like that I'll change my mind. But, for now... gotta keep plugging away. 

I  stepped away from dating again. I just don't want to. He doesn't exist. It's too hard investing energy into guys that don't want someone like me. 

They changed my schedule at work to 10-4 mon-fri which is pretty perfect in the grand scheme of things. Especially when the sun starts getting up earlier. (Because I tend to get up with the sun) anyway, then I can do some writing on my way into work, and then more after work if I feel like it, or I can have my evenings free- and my weekends!

what to do

 I have no idea what to do. 

A job offer back in NC where I never thought I would live again. Full benefits, and potentially more money than I've ever made. Likely not having to work more than 50 hours a week... still getting two days off. 

The part of me that balks at the idea just screams what about your dreams? The book, the lifecoaching business... and then the other part of me acknowledges that there hasn't been much progress on those lines here anyhow. 

How am I going to move all of my stuff? I went to get some of my things from storage, so now I have too much stuff. Plus the paddleboard that I bought while living here.  

I just looked up how much it would be to rent a van. $70. I can do that. Gas won't be fun, but, it shouldn't be horrific.  I guess we'll see. 

I don't know. I just don't know. My life at this point has been consumed with figuring out my book, and how and where I'm going to write it.