I pretty much have had a major meltdown these last few days. Tears just on the brink- and occasionally overflowing. I'd be fine during the day when up and doing, but during the night, I'd get a raging fever, nightly migraines, and back aches so bad that i would have to sleep with a back brace on to keep my spine in line without the undue tension. Joyful moments I could recognize but not grasp hold of. Blessings around me were noticed but unable to fully appreciate. So frustrating. That is not who I am. Why was it all getting to me this badly, and how do I fix it?
Heath still owes me money and it's really frustrating that I am not enough of a priority to him to do this for me. It's basically $300. That's pretty significant. I wish he would just pay it so that I could stop obsessing about it. Do I ask again, or leave him be. Do I just let it go and decide that I may never get my money back? Sigh.
RJ is so anal about things and he thinks I'm doing life all wrong that it's so frustrating to talk to him about these types of things. All of my issues would be solved if I did life like him, and worked my life away stashing away all my money and not doing anything fun- because for him life is all about working and saving for the future.
I wish I did have anyone else here. But, I don't. And that's the hardest thing.
