I don't know why

the sky is so blue, or why I'm so in love with you...

I question everything. I don't want my heart to get attached again. We know what happened the last few times and it's never a good thing. I don't like the expectations, I don't like the obsession, I don't like feeling like I'm missing you- when I was just fine a week ago without you. But, then you had to go and turn my world upside down. But, it's really not your fault, it's my own. My heart was the one that decided to fall for you, just because you showed that you cared- at least a little bit.  Is it that starved for love, that the littlest thing will have it throw itself at your feet?


When I think about it rationally, would loving you fill my soul? Would you inspire me to be better, or would we settle into the routine of standardized life and relationships... because there is nothing appealing about that. Do you want more, could you want more? Could you actually love me?

And how do I tear my heart away before it gets too attached and inevitably broken.


I realized it the day I applied to a job in another state. It broke at the thought of leaving you. I still did it anyway. But, I knew it that moment that I didn't want to leave you, and that meant I couldn't keep telling myself that you were just my friend. You were the light in my life and brought twinkles to my eyes.

ask me to stay

One time, I would like to be asked to stay. Don't leave, don't move away. Stay. It's such a thing that only happens in story books though. In real life, you mention it and they clam up. Occasionally they push you away in the time leading up to your departure. Don't you know I would have stayed if you'd asked me to?