Winter

It's really bothering me this year. In the past it hasn't been as much of a problem. Maybe I should go tanning. I never have before, but seriously, I really miss the sun.
Things feel like they multiple to the worse, things that would slightly bother me now hurt me. I need to go back to my ocean. It's only until March, it's only until March.... this is my mantra.
Things at work are good. They love me. I'm really good at my job. I could easily excel into management there because they promote from within. But, I'm going back home in 3 months. A fact unknown to them.
I feel so alone up here, I felt it down there alot too, but here I have friends- but they have families/significant others and I hardly ever see anyone. There are people that say they need me in their life, if that is the case, why must it always be me to make the effort. I'm so tired of putting all the effort into my relationships with people. There seems to be no balance. I love so easily and so deeply.
I don't know. For all the magic in my life there seems to be times where God says to me, don't get too cocky, you are not the magic, I am the magic.
I found my joy in the splendor of the ocean- the sand, the sun, the waves and the wind. I started learning new things that I would have never tried. Here, while I am yet teaching myself  to read and write french, it gets monotonous. I have relied on friends to help me continue said joy, but God had already taught me that joy cannot be found in people they can only enhance it.
Oh Lord, why must I be here? May I go back to the beach? I just feel so so alone.

Thanksgiving and other thoughts

I went back to the beach for thanksgiving. It was awesome. Why is March so darn far away?
It was really nice having everyone there together, the whole family. It would've only been better had Maggie, Desiree, and the other people we've added to our family could've been there. But as it was, it was pretty perfect. We have so much fun together.

I talked to Ayyoub on the phone twice, which was nice, tuesday nice and thursday night. I've been doing alot of thinking about it. Because that's what I do, over analyse to an extreme. I could fall for him so easily. One, he's so freaking good looking. But he also challenges me to be better than I am. He's so different than me in some ways, so athletic and fun. But so the same in other ways, kind and considerate- chooses to do what's right because it's right.
He's a very magical person, the joy of life just surrounds him. All very attractive qualities.
The problem is, I don't know how he feels about me. He likes me, I think. But, I don't know why. I don't want to pursue if he isn't interested at all. I really have no idea.
He mentioned something the other day, asking me why I tell him that I appreciate him in my life. All I could respond with was "because it's true". It was probably the opportune time for me to tell him that I think he's magical, but at the same time... it seemed too soon. And, I didn't want to have that conversation over the phone. He's down in Miami now, why does he have to be so far away?!
If only I could write to him, but unfortunately his english isn't that great reading and writing, thus me learning french. But it takes a long time to learn a new language!

I watched Meet Joe Black again last night. That movie makes me cry every time. I just identify alot with it.

That's all for now.

11 days of no sun....

It was the longest 11 days of my life. But, today the sun came out and there is hope once again.  It's funny how much the sun equals hope for me.
But, today it is out. Today I went to the gym. And am sitting at Starbucks learning French. Just how they pronounce the alphabet is different, I wouldn't be surprised at all if I'll learn to read and write it long before I can understand/speak it.

Coming back to Ohio has been hard overall. Mostly because of coming back to Cracker Barrel. Lots of work, lots of pain for not very much money. Grinders is hiring for their new Hartville location on the 22nd, so I think I'm going to go apply for that. I feel bad for doing it, but there is just so much SHIT at Cracker Barrel, I really just don't want to be a part of it anymore. I don't want to deal with it. They're trying to suck my soul out of me. We'll see, because I really do appreciate Doug and them putting me back on the schedule for the asking.

Been thinking ALOT lately. Coming back to lots of christian friends has inspired lots of christ centered conversation. It's also gotten me to a point of frustration with people I see trying to have a relationship with God. Trying to be good, trying. Stop trying, I want to tell them. It's simple. So very simple, really. Just BE. When you become a Christian, you revamp your consciousness to the "Christ consciousness" you can be in tune with God, people, and creation if you stop trying. Be free of guilt, the only condemnation is in your own head.
"Body bound man creates his own condemnation by isolating himself from God. To be saved he must reestablish his realization of inseparable unity with the Divine Immanence. - In waking, eating, working dreaming, sleeping, serving, meditating, chanting, divinely loving, my soul constantly hums unheard by any; God, God, God."
It's so very simple. The ease of it all is exemplified in star wars, do or do not, there is no try. Or the Matrix- stop trying to hit me and just hit me.
It really is just like Neo learning to free his mind. That's exactly what it is like becoming a Christian. Free your mind of the notions of sin. Just do what is right. You have the connection to the Spirit. you know what is right, just do it.  Live in the spirit and the moment. Things work out so magically.

and going and going, like the energizer bunny

So, due to the hurricane my work was closing for 5 days. And the next 3 days I was headed up to Ohio for a baby shower. This put me out of work for plus a week. That's not financially sane, especially seeing as how we'd only be open for another 3 weeks after that point. So I did the math, and asked them if I should just stay up here in Ohio since I'd been looking for year round work ever since I left Good Life and hadn't found anything due to it being the end of the season. The answer was yes, stay in Ohio. So I called my old job and had them put me back on the schedule.
It was so hard to leave the beach. Driving back thoughts fought against my joy with words of failure, even though I knew it wasn't. I just found such a really AMAZING life on the Outer Banks that I hated to go back to Ohio where I had to leave to find my joy.
But, I realized that there was a reason that God wanted me to go back to Ohio. Every single time something came up at the beach, he worked it out magically. Yes, I was living in my car the last couple of months, but that was because He didn't want me in a lease so that I could/would come back here. And, it really wasn't that big of a deal.
The day I got back I started looking for reasons and finding them, and it's really been a series of crazy coincidences. I do things I don't want to do but I do it anyway because I know God wants me to, and the results are out of this world. Everything from people needing me, to connections for my pie business. Overwhelming.

the crazy continues

I don't know how my life retains the crazy like it does. I think I'm a crazy magnet.
So, you all remember the story of the bearded man on the train?  Well this story is along those same lines. As in OH MY GOSH, is this happening?!?!
So this is the story.
Back in June I went down to Rodanthe to watch the Triple S Invitational, it was there I saw this beautiful man. On the DL I snapped a picture of him on my phone and sent it to my sister, with a message to the effect of don't you wish you were here?! :)  He kept smiling at me as I sat there on the stairs as he went out on the water, but then when he came back in from the water, there was a girl there who was talking to him.  So I assumed she was actually his girlfriend, when I left, they seemed to be leaving together, and the car had a license plate saying it was from Quebec. I figured they were down here on vacation and I would never see him again. Oh well.
Not this past Sunday but the one before I was done with work and stopped at 5 Guys for a burger on my way home. Probably only the 3rd time I'd stopped there since moving here. As I walk in the door I see two surfer looking guys sitting at a table waiting on their food. As I sit down near them, once again I snap a picture of complete strangers to send to my sister. (These random picture taking had never occurred before or after these two times.) She sent me a text back saying "You Suck".
I noticed that the one guy had a knee injury and he asked the guy at the counter for a bag for ice to put on his knee. The guy didn't have one, so the surfer guy just grabbed some napkins and put ice in the napkins. I remembered that on my recent trip to the grand canyon, I'd bought an ace knee brace, had never used it and it was out in the car.  So, I stood up and went over to them and asked if he was alright. He said he was, but gratefully accepted the offer of the knee brace. When I brought it back in, they invited me to join them. His name was Ayyoub from Morocco, he was a kiteboarding instructor down in Rodanthe. His friend was Ryan, from England, also a kiteboarding instructor. I told them kiteboarding was something I always wanted to try, so they invited me to come down. Tuesday I went down. When I saw Ayyoub come in from teaching a lesson, I realized with a HOLY SHIT that this was the same guy I had taken a picture of back in June.
We were making plans to do hangout that evening when he remembered that he had a previous engagement. He gave me his phone number, and told me that when my next day off was, call him and we would hang out.  I made the potentially catastrophic mistake of telling him that I had taken a picture of him back in June. He wasn't sure what to think of that was obvious. But, I'm one of those very honest people, and I figured it would be best to tell him upfront rather than waiting.
The next week I was off Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. All three of those days I spent down there with him. From like 2-until 11ish. Monday we hung out with his roommates, he taught me how to skateboard...!! (Me skateboarding?! Crazy talk.)
Wednesday they all went wakeboarding and I shot video of them. He made me dinner and we spent the evening watching movies.  Thursday was much the same as Wednesday but he made this really amazing Moroccan dish for dinner. There was some very interesting talks about his faith. (He is a Muslim.) He was leaving Saturday because there was a hurricane blowing in, and the road would get washed out... He was headed down to Miami for the winter season but would be back in the spring.
He told me about this girl that he fell in love with in Mexico, but that things weren't going well between them currently. He was going to see her in Tuscon Arizona before heading to Miami to figure things out.
I still don't know things currently stand. But I'm going to let him have his space while he's there with her, but once he's in Miami, we'll see. I would never steal him from her, but if they're not getting back together...

I really really like him though. He's really fabulous. We'll see. Everything was so coincidental about our meeting, and the timing that it just has me confused.

and the strange series of events that is my life continues

So, the craziness that is my life. I no longer have a house, I've been sleeping in my car since my tent decided to lift off with me in it. It thought it was the house from The Wizard of Oz... except the dog and I merely flipped over in the tent.. instead of landing in Oz. Which is a bummer. :)
My job hit the crapper, and my last day is Thursday. I started a new job, less money, but, less drama- more potential for upwards growth. So, that is a turn of events.
Also, I've been being hit on by a married guy for the last several weeks. He's married, though, for crying out loud. Then there is another one, also married- but like 65 that asked me for my phone number last week. CRAZY.  How I am a magnet for old guys I have no idea.
I miss my friends back in Ohio. I have two friends here though. One is Teri... she has been absolutely amazing in my life. Filled a void. She's crazy, genuine and full of love.  The other is Vitali, he's an illegal immigrant from Belarus, looking to find a green card wife. (not me though, no worries). He doesn't have alot of friends, and doesn't like many people. So, somehow I adopted him, and we've become friends. :)

I've spent as much time as possible at the beach, and am as close to brown as I'll likely ever get. I don't get too dark, but there's certainly a difference. :)

Life is good, despite it all. (But I really need to find a house so I can sleep in a bed!!!!)

I'm still alive

Life has been good. Crazy good. Besides these past two weeks, there's been a steady influx of money, which has been awesome. I got to see The Wailers (as in, Bob Marley's band..!) that was pretty awesome. I've started meeting a bunch of fun people. I've been finding live music, which is awesome. I've been going out on Janettes Pier to watch the sun go down to just watch the waves sometimes in the day, sometimes at night. Either way it's been awesome.
I've watched surfing competitions, kiteboarding competitions... someone using a water fueled jetpack.

I am at peace.
I have found my happy place. It still makes me happy when it's overcast.

The only thing it's missing so far is mental/spiritual stimulation. I have yet to meet anyone I connect with on that plane. I'm sure though, this will come in time.

There is so much to tell, yet the words are not coming to me. It's one of those instances where it's hard to know where to start.


I read an awesome book called "Turning Pro" by Steven Pressfield. If that doesn't inspire you to write and keep writing and be all you can be, I don't know what will. The awesome thing about it, is it isn't necessarily about writing,  just life.


Be well.

So it continues

It's been... interesting this adventure of mine.
The first week I kept busy. The second week I started stressing and missing people. This third week I've been calm, and still miss people. It is getting better though, because I've met some people through work, so I can be in starbucks and see people I know. (Starbucks is my current hangout because they have internet!)
I found a house last week. (Which was most the reason why I was stressing.) We move in on Tuesday. There are plus sides to this house, and downsides. Good things, $900 a month, 3 bed 2 bath, utilities included, in a gated community with pool access and private beach on the sound, tennis, basketball courts... so that's cool. Bad thing, the owner initially had it listed as a VRBO and already booked the last week of June and all of July. However I can have it for the rest of the year. So, there's that.
One thing about the south, I think I've been called Baby more than ever before in my life. There was a really good looking golfer from Virginia the other day that thought I was something. haha. He was probably in his thirties somewhere, he was one of the "baby" callers. He came back into the restaurant far more than most. Cute. He said he comes down once a month, so maybe I'll see him again. It looks like they're going to start letting me make them pies, so we can get our desserts back on track. I want us to be known for something and my pies might do the trick. (This is not my ego talking, it's just homemade desserts are a draw especially in the south.) There is so much I want to do here, the potential for things is amazingly huge. I've already been given a $2.00 raise, which is rediculous. I love it, but, really?! It worries me. This is merely my third week.  I don't feel like I deserve it yet.
The coffee there also needs work. Some people drink it, but, you can tell they don't really like it. (Besides the complaints I've gotten on it.) Matt, we need you! ;)

So, I really want to have a year-round green house here. I think the demand for that would be huge if I could pull it off. Food here is expensive, and produce can be found at stands on the other side of the bridge, but during the winter, you have to buy it at the grocery stores for way more than usual.
Being now in zone 8b, I think greenhouse growing would be great in the winter.

I guess that's it for now.

The adventure will soon commence!

Well. I went down to find a job and a house, found some jobs, but they just don't start yet, which sucks. I really just want to go down there now. Didn't find a house, unfortunately. Still working on that one. The potentials have simply not worked out. Dagnabit. I'm not yet worrying. I don't mind camping, it's just that it's more than just me going down there. Why oh why do I get myself into situations where I have to take care of other people?! I don't mind, really, but it's just inconvenient, sometimes.

I'm really looking forward to this though. It's going to be so much fun. Today temperatures are in the upper 60's and I can't tell you how much I just wish I was at the beach.

Crazy story- so remember that girl I randomly found on FB after she tagged a mutual friend of ours in a a note? Turned out she'd just moved back to the area from Philly, and looked like a pretty cool person. Anyway! It turns out the mutual friend came to town and introduced her to Dustin and Erin (whom he also knows). I told Erin that I found her a replacement friend since I'm moving away. :) She laughed when I told her and said that she'd thought the same thing, not that I can be replaced, but... yeah.
It's only the people whose lives I'll miss out on that makes me not want to do this. Everything else is thrilled to be going though.

I should go start dinner. Runza's tonight. (So my younger brother and sisters are living with us now too, dude! they eat us out of house and home- and go through toilet paper too. Gosh. haha)

Untitled

It has been decided. I am going to go down to the Outer Banks the 6th-8th of March in the attempt to find a job for at least the summer. The housing is going to be a bit more tricky I think. Because I don't know how much I'll be making down there, it's hard to know how much rent I can afford. Top that off with Josiah and Erin for sure coming with me, I have to find a two bedroom place that isn't that expensive.
If it were just me, or just me and Josiah it would be easier because we can rough it. But I couldn't do that to Erin.

So we'll see.

I've really been thinking about my decision to go. It might be a poor life decision as regards to money, but on the flip side it might not be. Especially if I do end up roughing it. Speaking of which, I need to finish updating my resume and getting that printed off.


Another thing that has thrown me for a loop lately is seeing Ricky. I talk to him fairly frequently, but I hardly ever see him. I really struggle with understanding why I'm so fixated on him. It really makes no sense. I'm not in love with him, but I do love him. The timing for a US just has never been right, and I'm pretty well convinced that the time will not be right until we're old. I don't know why I think that, but, yeah.

I am not stuck on getting married, I just like companionship. It's easier for me to accomplish goals if they're done in tandem. I like the idea of doing things together, having a life that pointed in the same direction.
Now I'm coming to grips with the fact that this has not happened, and doesn't look like there is potential for it ever happening, so I need to just bloody well choose what life path I want to take. I just feel like if I choose one path I close the doors on the other paths. That is such a final thing.

Work has been insane lately. They keep firing people, and need me to fill the spots left empty, and I hate it. Please  why can't I just wait on tables?! I can't afford this never waiting on tables crap. I make so much more money when I serve.

Meh.

Alright, I'm done for today.

Refreshing

My weekend up in Michigan was amazing. David's littlest sister Hannah is 4 (He's one of 13 kids..!) she and I were best friends (most of the time. haha) We played an innumerable amount of games of old maid. We held a make believe wedding. Decided that at her wedding we would throw apples instead of rice. :-D She sang "Mary Did You Know?" very loudly for the ceremony, the song is still stuck in my head.
Learned alot at the farm conference. Met a bunch of cool people. It was exactly what I needed.
This week has been good. Nothing especially eventful. I've been doing what cleaning I can now that I'm back up here at my brothers. It hasn't been properly cleaned since I moved out 6 months ago, probably. There's cobwebs... and other growing things haha.  Trying to manage my time properly between work, work for my dad, the house and everything else.
I went to church this morning with my friend Megan. Since I'm not going to LoveCanton anymore, she wanted to try some place else. So we went to First Christian. The announcements were... very frustrating. "Invite your friends to church, we just want to introduce them to Jesus"... (not that we just built this new church and need more money coming in..) so my friend Megan turned to me during the singing, "do you mind if we go out to the lobby and pray?" "Sure!" we ended up talking for about an hour out there, completely missing the church service. haha. So, I somehow went to church, but didn't actually go to church. ;)

Been finding joy lately. I don't know exactly how. Just in the little things. It's good.
I'm really looking forward to the next couple months. I'm going to go to the beach. Live and work on the outer banks of NC for the summer at least. Hopefully at that point my parents business will have taken off and I can stay if I want. We'll see.

Life goes on

What a traumatic week. I was called things I have never been accused of in the past. I was told that I create drama, cause division in the church, am immature and disloyal. None of which actually apply to me. At this point though, I don't want to talk about it anymore, think about it anymore. I'm just done. It's sad, because I made this group an extention of my family. I will not be participating anymore.  This is no longer just a knee jerk reaction to eveything. This is merely, if this is the way leadership really is, I have no desire to be part of it. That they are so offended that I am not willing to move in with this girl just shocks me. I can tell them time and time again that there was nothing drawing me to live in Canton, just to live in Canton. God did seem to want me to live in THAT apartment, because I was part of the community there. I wouldn't be if I was somewhere else in Canton. So, why wouldn't I go back and live for free with my brother, as opposed to living with a stranger? So weird.

This Friday I'm headed up to Michigan for a farm conference. I'm so excited. It's going to be awesome. So, my week will be full of moving and work. Now though, I'm just tired. Only got a couple hours of sleep last night, but I want to be at least a little productive today. I could've just slept the rest of the day away.

Discipleship

I don't believe in it. It's not like I'm saying I don't believe in the tooth fairy, it's just that I'm saying, I don't think it's right. "Go out and make disciples of all the nations"doesn't mean what these church people are teaching. I don't need you to disciple me. I am not your disciple. I'm not going to go out and get myself people to disciple, because I don't want to. I'm not the one to follow, you are not the one to follow. I will however, follow Jesus. I will however introduce people to this awesome friend of mine named Jesus. I will not hold you accountable to what I think is right. You will hold yourself accountable. I will hold me accountable. I will make a list of what I know Jesus expects from me as his disciple. It may not match yours. This doesn't make me wrong.

Bah.

What do I do?!

Anything can happen, so it does.

So, as a spin on life, this one kinda takes the cake. The result of which, I'm upset, hurt, lost... no idea what to do. Here's the deal. Remember when I first moved into the apartment, almost 6 months ago? Remember how I don't have a roommate? Remember how I'm paying only half rent because they were believing in a roommate for me?  Yeah, well, the landlord called yesterday to have me come meet with him. Since my lease is up on the first, I guess I'm being evicted. They have other people that are interested in the apartment that can pay the whole rent. My only option is to find a roommate in 10 days, or pay the whole rent. So I'm out. Their solution was for me to move in with the current roommate of the girl that will be moving into my place. Which is rotten. Yeah, moving in with a perfect stranger sounds like a good time. Not.
This whole time I thought I was living there because I was part of the southwest village (church) and associated with the boys house my apartment would be the girls house. Apparently not. The leader of my village is the son of the landlord now, so that's awkward. Everything just gets so complicated at that point. The leader of the church basically says that I'm SOL. Who knew I was just a tenant. Not me. Very hurt. I just want to be done at this point. I want nothing more to do with them. Which is totally an overreaction. When you touch a flame, you jerk back and don't touch it again, right? That's what this feels like.
So, what am I going to do? I got the money from the lawyers so I have a little to play with. I could run away and live on the beach. I could stay... and live with my brother again..(very inconvenient) ... or... I don't know. I don't know what to do. Where am I headed, what are my goals? I'm back at the starting point again. Dammit.

More realizations

Yesterday I had some revelations about myself.
 I've been wondering where my joy has gone. I used to be so supremely happy all the time, and now it's not the case. The answer to this is that I have placed my happiness in people. I used to love going to work because I was friends with so many people there, it was like I got to hang out with my friends all day. Since the dynamic of work has changed (due to the majority of the people at work being now 18-22) I am no longer friends with most the people I work with. I live alone. I see parts of my family a couple times a week. But the sister I've been closest to my whole life, I feel like while we are still sisters, we are no longer friends, and it tears me up. I never see her, and she never wants to do the things that I want to do. And, I am not invited to hang out with her and her friends. She thinks I'm always judging her because I don't do the things that she does. I don't say anything but she says my eyes judge her. I can't fix that because I don't think I'm doing anything, it's in her mind. I don't know what to do. My church people community has been lacking because I can't make it to Sunday morning church every other week, I can only do the Sunday evening church every other off week. They haven't done the Sunday evening group in over a month, so it's been missing in my life. Last night was the first time, and I had to force myself to go. I am always the outsider. The people I am closest to weren't going to be there last night, so it felt halfway pointless. But, it turned out right that I went. 
I had made Ricky be my best friend, and I've had to let that go as he gets more serious with his girlfriend. It's not fair to him. The other people in my life have just been busy.  The moral of the story is this: I noticed how much my happiness is built on people. If I don't have people in my life, I am so very very unhappy. I need those connections.  But, this is a problem. My happiness shouldn't be based on other people. People disappoint. Happiness should come from within. Joy of life based on life itself. How do I change this though? I don't know.  That is also a problem. I'm not really good with not knowing how to fix problems. It stresses me out.  I don't live in a numb mind state. I think about things. The whys. I know most people don't, and I wish I didn't, I just don't know how to switch it off, besides numbing my mind with fiction and television so that I don't think about things. But then I realize how much of life I'm wasting.
I live in an apartment behind a house that was meant to be a community hub. But we don't hardly know our neighbors (because it's not that kind of neighborhood), and there are very little steps being taken in any direction, I think there is just hope that it will magically happen without having to think about the steps needed to take to get it there.  This is something I can help solve, with small dinners with individual neighbors... helping build the community.
I don't know. If you think of it, pray for me.

The Art of Happiness and Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys

I found this book when I went to check out the new Books-A-Million that has taken over Borders. I didn't buy it, just read part of it there. Dude. It's amazing. You know how I've said that God speaks to me in coincidences? Well, He does. I was listening to Tommy Hopkins and he was talking about words to avoid in the seminar on How to Sell Anything to Anyone. He spoke of how the average of people are unmotivated. My dad and I had been talking about the distinct lack of motivation in our family the last time we talked. I've been trying to realize what my ambitions are and what I should do about them.
He also was speaking on how we need to surround ourselves with people that inspire us to be better than we are. Something that I relate to, and also have read recently elsewhere.
I don't know why I have gotten into such a big self improvement kick. I don't even think it's about that. I guess I just like knowing motivators, the whys of people and the things they do.  We all have potential and I just want to fulfill that.

I guess that's it. (I always did want to be a cowboy....)

Writing

I think it may be time for me to resume writing. Not just blogs, but short stories -novels. I have been going through old notebooks, legal pads, random pages, I have so much content. Unusable of course, but the ideas are still good. My old friend Jeffery Walton still needs to be finished. I wrote the story line for the whole beginning, but the middle and end still need created.
I feel like now that I have so much more life experience the story will be better. I have more of a grasp on humans and how and why they do the things they do.

I spent the day once again rearranging my apartment, after having done it last week. This time it's better though. The way I just had it was okay if it was just me living there, but, I have to remember there is always a chance for someone else to move in.

Things have changed in the business world. My dad is switching gears and OTV is no longer. So much for my beautiful business cards. I told the parents I would help with whatever new venture they start. Then this evening I heard that Cracker Barrel fired someone that didn't deserve being fired. It makes me very upset. I want to do something else. I'm really good at what I do, I just need to figure out what else I'm good at.
I've been listening to Tommy Hopkins seminars on selling. It's just too deliberately manipulative for my taste. I don't know. I'm feeling lost again.

I think I'm going to go write. (After spending the day in seclusion, why not spend more?! :))

2012

I went out with friends for New Years Eve for the first time, ever. It's my older brother's birthday, so we've always just done birthday things and then ended it up with friends, games and watching the ball drop. (I didn't even see the ball drop this year. You know, when I was little and saw it for the first time, I was ridiculously disappointed in it... I think I wanted it to be a real ball that would either bounce or shatter at the new year as gravity pulled it to the earth.)
This year was alot of fun. I was either going to spend the evening by myself doing household chores, or go out with with the boys. I went out. I don't drink, you know, so I was their designated driver. They got very.... happy. haha. The one party we went to I was surrounded by more skinny jeans (on guys) than I have ever seen in one place at one time. It was hilarious.
There were lots of state of the union discussions, along with a surprising undercurrent of fear. Fear of what the year will hold. Fear of the direction our nation is headed. Fear that there is nothing we can do to save the planet.
I somehow do not fear these things. Yes, everything is going to crap, but it's one of those things that has to happen. The end of the world as we know it, people have always feared these things at all stages of human existence. Why will it end now? The poles will shift, the nations break apart like they did long ago, and life will continue on a smaller reduced scale. The industry age is over so no one knows how to build/make anything from start to finish anymore. Genetically Modified Foods are the norm, and their seeds are screwing up the heirloom plants. The earth cannot sustain the population in 50 years.
There is no answer to these things. There is just faith. Faith that somehow things will work out. What's the worst that could happen? I mean, we die. Everyone dies. You can't escape it, no matter if the earth explodes or not.

Anyway, that's my thoughts on the matter.
Met new people, laughed alot. Didn't get home until 3:30 in the morning, altogether a successful evening, I'd say.

I hope your year is filled with peace, hope and love.