everything else

 Besides the chaos of my heart that is Heath... 

My dad is behaving like a child and treating his kids very badly. Not me, but several of the others. He just gets his feelings hurt and reacts like he's two.  Ironically enough, before the latest shit happened, I had a dream about yelling at him and facing him in the corner so that he'd think about his behavior, and low and behold, he needs that so much. 

I haven't called my parents because I don't want to talk to them. I feel kinda bad about that, but at the same time, I just really can't associate and condone what they're doing. And I say they, because my mom doesn't stop it- nor does she do anything to counter act it. 

Josiah's baby Crosby is dying. He said that we can finally come visit, but there's a 5 day quarantine prior to visiting that I'm not sure I can cope with. - Because of work, it's just not feasible. But- relationships are what matter and I don't know if it would be a good thing for me to go, or not. I just don't know.  Plus, I'm so far in the south as far as money goes. I've had to make several large purchases, plus, I'm now paying rent, and I gave H another $2000 last month, that he swore would be returned that next week, but never did. Sigh. 

It's just one thing after the other. 

I'm just so exhausted. 

My uncle has been here all week. There's been a hurricane that cause a ton of damage. 

I'm going to Ohio for the weekend next week for my birthday, and not going to get to see hardly anyone. Which is fine, but, I think it's going to be a tad depressing too. 

I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do, other than just ignore everything and just keep moving forward. It's all out of my control.