1 week later

1 week later, I'm now living in Deerfield Beach FL. And I am alone. Gosh. I'm not really alone, I'm surrounded by more people than I have ever lived near, basically my entire life. I have friends 40 miles away, and a friend that is letting me stay with her. But, I hate staying with her. It makes me feel dependent? I don't know. I just know I never want to be a burden to anyone. I know if the rolls were reversed, it would be no big deal to me at all. And, I know she feels the same, but I can't help feeling like I'm intruding.

I've started a job, and I'm concerned about it. It's a nice enough place, but I'm not 100% sold on it. The clientele is just different. I think that's what throws me off down here. Everyone here is from New York or New Jersey (if they're white), everyone else is from another country. It's so weird. I go to the beach and can't listen in on any conversations because no one is speaking English. How weird is that?!

I went to 2 churches so far, looking to meet people. I went to one on Wednesday night, just in an effort to find housing, see if anyone knew anyone, ya know? Well, nope. But, they were nice. 1 girl is my age, and has only been down here a year and is having trouble making friends. We have tried to hang out a couple times since, but it hasn't worked out.

This morning I went to another church up the road, a much bigger church for the wealthy. Not a single hello, who are you. Funny.

So, I spent my morning at Barnes and Noble, reading. Found this life purpose book by the guy who wrote Peaceful Warrior. That was actually enlightening, and startlingly accurate.
I also read The Art of Communication by a vietnamese buddhist. Also, exceptionally good. But, now I'm feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed because of things I noticed about myself, overwhelmed because I don't have a house, a place to bring my dog in 2 weeks. Overwhelmed because I miss my family. Overwhelmed because there are SO many people all around me, and no one says hi.

That peace I had when God worked everything out for me to be here, it's a tenuous thing. It's easy to want to be in control and then realize you don't got it and no know where to go from there. Yeah. Pretty much.

We'll see.