the unicorn

I sent the unicorn a text to say happy birthday today.  I have to admit to missing him sometimes too. We spoke the same language. At least, for a time.

There are two guys sort of talking to me right now... I can't even tell you how tense I feel about it. I can't even get words out straight. I've been rereading some of my messages, and there have been spelling/grammar errors as well as forgotten words. How? I have no idea. Not proof reading- writing on my phone instead of the computer, I have no idea. It's embarrassing really. 
So, I don't know how interested to be in these guys, if I am actually interested, if I have it in me to be interested. I just really don't want anyone else, but I feel like I HAVE to move on. But at the same time, I feel like this is just me saying that I have to move on, that it's me making the moves, and not allowing God to make magic happen. I didn't try to meet Ayyoub, or Luke, or Mike, or Micah. They all just happened. I feel like in doing this I'm telling God he doesn't know what He's doing. That I am in control of my life again, not Him.  But, on the flip side- nothing has happened in months. God has been quiet, so is He waiting for me to do something that allows Him to move, or did he just want me to be patient and wait and  hope.... for what?!