introspective

You know how sometimes you just have to stop and think about your life, and why it is the way it is? And question everything, and everyone...? 
Personally, I've been trying to figure out my next step for the past 2 years. I completed my goal of backpacking Europe for 2 months, and I just didn't know what to do when I got home. I felt that I should move to Louisiana- though why, didn't make sense to my rational brain, so I tried to rationalize it. There have been such good things to come of that move, but other incredibly difficult things also. Because I live a life free as the wind, I'm constantly wondering where it will blow me next. I find myself perpetually defining my happiness by people in my life. I have a nagging feeling that I'm supposed to have a goal- to be working towards something. But, there's just nothing. Just BE is whispered to my soul. The idea of existing in each moment for the moments sake, and let ambition fade away, there's no promise of tomorrow, or a brighter future than just right now. But then there are moments of difficulty, and then the tendency is to dwell on the past- on how you should have done something better. Or to dwell on the future- on how that moment will spawn more moments of difficulty.
I guess I feel like my life is like a book, but I've gotten to a really long descriptive part...it's cool, but what's next? Or does it just stay like this?