new year

I am surprised I forgot to write a new entry for the new year. I do like to reminisce.

Things are much the same. I'm working at the fancy restaurant- they're making me a manager soon, which is a good thing, because tips aren't quite as one would hope- because they are over staffed. Sigh. But it is what it is. Hopefully she'll pay me well, haven't discussed that part yet.

Still friends with Heath. Much to my occasional despair. He still has a girlfriend. And that's fine. I feel like he's getting to have his cake and eat it too... and I feel like I play the role of his mother since he doesn't have one.  Not always, but definitely sometimes. I'm the one he calls when he's sick, when he has a problem, when he needs help. And I like that I'm able to be there for him, because I have this need to be needed. But, I have to say, it sometimes really sucks that that is all I am for him. But, on the flip side he's also more narcissistic than I need my partner to be.

I've had several other dates, 2 of them especially promising, so much so that we'd planned a second date. But, then he would fall off the face of the planet, and I would never hear from him again. It's pretty frustrating, let me tell ya!  I've given up again. I don't want to date.  I don't know what it is about me that isn't worth the effort to any guy. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, so I'm really just done trying.