Today the stress has arrived. I'm trying so hard to not be stressed, but the fact remains- it's there. Spending money without money coming in is so hard. I need a job. I talked to some people, but nothing has come through yet. I'm very unaccustomed to that. I always have a job immediately. Why is the magic gone now? (Listen to me complain- I'm pretty well set currently. I'm at the beach, the majority of my family is here, the sun has been out for the last several days- the ocean is tearing up the beach, but it is glorious. It makes me sad that Ayyoub and Brandon will not be back. Kerilin is moving away in May. Mostly I'm just stressed because of the lack of job. It's been a week- and I'm going stir crazy. I found a cheap house in Manteo that has potential, will have to wait on a call back for that one. But even if I did get it, I don't have an income currently. haha It's all about the money. I feel like I can't do anything with the pie business without a place to make said pie. The Dunes does start back on the 22nd, but I haven't heard anything from them, so that has me concerned.
Basically I need to just relax and know that it's under control, and know what's funny, I feel like I sabotaged it by praying about it. I don't pray very often, because I figure God knows, and all I have to do is listen to the Spirit and I'll know what to do. That's how it usually happens. Well, I prayed about the Ayyoub thing- it didn't work out. I prayed about the job thing, it hasn't worked out the way I'd hoped. What does that mean?
Maybe I got too used to the magic that happens all the time, and God is saying that He doesn't play by my rules.
I just don't know. I really don't. So, I'll just curl up in the sun and wait.
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