I get them every year. This year is the worst.
But this year I feel like the oxygen is gone from my life too.
Trying to shake it off. But when the words haunt you, even in your sleep.... "What the fuck part of leave me alone do you not understand? .... This is my life and I no longer want you in it"
I feel like I'm existing, going through the motions, but with no air. How am I not dead?
And so, today I celebrate my birthday alone in a strange town and state. I'm making myself an awesome dinner with cheesecake for dessert. I will go through the motions. Maybe one day learn how to breathe again.
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