January the 12th

It's a momentous day in history. It's my mother's birthday. It was my last day in Colorado with the one I love(d) last year.

This morning before I woke up, I dreamed that I was raped. I was in the hospital, and the only person I wanted was Micah. And he wouldn't come. People would say that I would be okay, but I didn't believe them. The only one I felt I could trust was him, and he wouldn't come.

So I woke up emotional. I haven't translated that dream into my conscious world- haven't figured out what my subconscious was trying to tell me.

Yesterday I got shopped by the ATF at work, and failed. I swear the kid's ID said that he turned 21, 1-5-2017 but apparently, according to the cop it said, 2021. I don't know if I had a dyslexic moment, or what. Either which way I'm getting a ticket, and apparently am lucky not to be arrested for selling alcohol to a minor. So that had me nervy.

It's been a slow week at work again, not making any money. But on the plus side, today was really good. Just the lunch shift I made like 90 with dessert sales. So that's good. If only that was regular.

I bought some seeds and some house plants yesterday. In February I'm going to make some garden boxes and plant some things. And I want a bunch more house plants. I'd like the interior of my house to feel like a garden, it will make me happy.

I'm just tired and emotional. So many bad and so many good things at the same time- the ups and downs make me tired. I want to sleep in the sun. My body misses the vitamin D.