As I drifted between waking and sleeping during the early hours of the morning, I dreamt of Micah. Recently he posted about having car troubles and then shortly afterwards he posted an ad trying to sell his jeep. So in the dream I saw him in a store, and he saw me- he tried to say something, but couldn't and simply turned and left. I wanted to say something, but couldn't, it wasn't my place. Then the dream switched to being about the jeep. He loved that jeep, it was perfect for him, and if things went bad on it, it wasn't complicated to fix. But here he was getting rid of it, because he was tired of fixing it. I just wanted him to see that this is a pattern in his life. He can say that he's getting rid of it for the benefit of someone else in need, but the reality needs to be acknowledged too. And I cried. Because I don't like when reality and dreams are the same. As I woke myself up all the way and got out of bed I just told myself 'you are not in control'. And that's the truth of the matter. It's not my place to make him think about things differently anymore. It's not actually a big deal that he's getting rid of the jeep, with all the problems it's been having, I totally understand. What my heart still doesn't understand is how it could go from "you're perfect" to "I no longer want you in my life".
And so the story goes.
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