So, I've started at the new restaurant- where I have to wear a vest and a tie. It's a bit much. The money I've made this week, makes it seem not at all worth it. The only way it'll work out, is if we go on a wait and we make a shit ton that way, but as it stands, there's been too many people to make anywhere near enough money. So that's stressful. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, but we'll see.
Andre asked me to take care of his bookkeeping work too after he gets his mess sorted out. So I feel like I should take some classes so I have an idea of what I'm doing. Because as it stands, I really don't. I'm just faking it.
But why would I put that much effort into doing something I really don't want to do. But then that begs the question, what do I actually want to do? I want to wait tables on the beach and be able to make enough to no worry about things and to have plenty of time to lay by the water and/or go swimming.
But is that the life I'm meant to live?
I don't know. I'm not miserable here, I'm just lonely. I'm lonely for people that I don't have to play a part around. Here you've got to watch what you say as far as politics. And lifestyles are so different. If I was looking for a guy, chances are, he wouldn't be found here.
I question everything. What the hell am I doing? What am I trying to accomplish? Why does my life look like it does?
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