what in the absolute hell? I don't know what to do with it. Why is God still pushing hope? I don't know what it means. I don't know why. I open my bible, and it has another Hope verse just staring at me for the verse of the day.
Ayyoub got married yesterday to the young one he found- the one he was interested in that spelled the end for us. It's fine. I'm glad he's happy. Do I wonder where I went wrong? Yep. I do. I do wonder why I am never enough.
I'm 33 now. Who woulda thought. This is supposed to be the golden year. The year of the end and of new beginnings. And that word Hope. I want to curl up in a ball. I don't know what to hope for. The end that spells a new beginning? Okay. I just feel like these last two years have been agonizing, and I don't know how I'm going to not kick over the traces.
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