windows

I'm not going to try anymore. I can't. For my own self respect and my heart, I can't. I shouldn't.  It's a weird thing when you losing my love is the most loving thing to do in this situation. It makes me sad. But, that's the way it needs to be.

After a week of not talking, I texted him yesterday. Everything felt weird. He didn't open my text for a long time, so I assumed that he wasn't going to.  He tried to be fairly normal, but it wasn't. He told me he'd text me after his show/party last night, but he didn't. And didn't text me this morning, which is something he would have done before all this.  And so, I have to stop. And just let it all go.

It always reminds me of the song 'losing love is like a window in your heart- everyone can see you're blown apart, everyone can feel the wind blow."

I hate losing people. I hate caring about people this much. And I hate that it wasn't my choice. Either the loving or the ending. My heart just did it. Without asking. And everytime I would say no, because my head didn't trust....  And my head was right, so I feel validated. But, broken hearted.