There is a general vibe of anxiety in the world right now.
Everything from the presidential elections, to the virus, to the tumble on Wall
Street. The travel bans, cancelations of social outings, and the frustrations
all this causes.
I am not a person to let my emotions rule me, but given the exhausted and under fed status of my soul, I am feeling things much too much for my personal comfort.
My own anxieties about work and money and my goals for the future feel amplified. I currently live in a city surrounded by figures trapped in the motions of life. Every piece of my soul screams out to them all the time THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN WORK AND ENTERTAINMENT. But, no one asks me for the answers though, which is a good thing. I don’t have them. It’s just city life. You get trapped by it. Social expectations. Peer influences.
What path is the right one, the one that makes the most difference in the world, one that feeds my own soul and the souls of others?
Personally, I note with horror that I am turning 35 this year, which is basically 40, and no longer young. And that makes me question everything. Am I making the right choice? Stay, go, invest or close that door?
Romantic relationships in my past have all (strangely) resulted in them finding their happily ever after, during or directly after me. The ones that do want me tend to be married or approach life too differently from me to be compatible. And so, after the last several failed attempts at dating, I realized that I cannot try anymore. I love too easily, and somehow it never goes away. But, on the flip side there are moments of despair, especially when all of your friends have someone. And, you know, the other stuff….
I am not a person to let my emotions rule me, but given the exhausted and under fed status of my soul, I am feeling things much too much for my personal comfort.
My own anxieties about work and money and my goals for the future feel amplified. I currently live in a city surrounded by figures trapped in the motions of life. Every piece of my soul screams out to them all the time THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN WORK AND ENTERTAINMENT. But, no one asks me for the answers though, which is a good thing. I don’t have them. It’s just city life. You get trapped by it. Social expectations. Peer influences.
What path is the right one, the one that makes the most difference in the world, one that feeds my own soul and the souls of others?
Personally, I note with horror that I am turning 35 this year, which is basically 40, and no longer young. And that makes me question everything. Am I making the right choice? Stay, go, invest or close that door?
Romantic relationships in my past have all (strangely) resulted in them finding their happily ever after, during or directly after me. The ones that do want me tend to be married or approach life too differently from me to be compatible. And so, after the last several failed attempts at dating, I realized that I cannot try anymore. I love too easily, and somehow it never goes away. But, on the flip side there are moments of despair, especially when all of your friends have someone. And, you know, the other stuff….
And so life goes on. What lies ahead? I have no idea. But
this moment, this is a good one, and this is where I need to exist until the
next moment comes.
May love light your path, and peace surround your soul.
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