what is happening

 I don't even know what is happening in my life right now. 

Heath called me and asked if he could crash on my couch after having not really heard from him for the past two months. I've been spending this time getting over him and trying to move on.  I pick him up because his car got towed- and the first thing out of his mouth his how he missed me so much and really fucked up in pushing me away, and can we please try to do this?  So of course, without even thinking about it, I agree. I love him and never have stopped. He stayed at my house for 3 days.... and things happened.  And then he left and I had time to think. What the hell am I doing?  I love him, but I'm not in love with him anymore, I don't think. If I believed him, if I thought he adored me too, I could fall back in love with him in an instant. But, with our history, frankly, I don't. 

And to make matters that much more complicated, there's a guy that has potential that I've been talking to. I started talking to him before Heath called... but it hadn't gotten anywhere, and then Wednesday he texts me this long great text, and so I responded the next morning about how I'm giving heath a chance. Well, he hasn't taken that for an answer. At first he was like, well, we can be friends. But, he's not wanting to be friends. He's wanting me to change my mind about Heath and give him a shot. 

I don't even know what to do. Not even a little bit. I just expect Heath to break my heart, and don't want to miss out on a good guy if that's the case. How horrible is that?