I should be sleeping, I have to be up for work in a couple hours. I was going to try and get a decent amount of sleep in beforehand, because somehow I'm working a double on a day that I open. (I have to be there by 5am..) Gross gross gross.
Problem is, I watched a movie before trying to sleep. I don't watch much tv/movies now that I live by myself. This is purposefully, just because I'd like to get the most out of my time, and not thinking- seems to waste time, except for those times I need to not think. Today, well, today was just one of those days I didn't know what to do. Going somewhere was out of the question. I am not one of those people that enjoy crowds, and so stores are a nightmare on Black Friday. I got a movie out at Family Video, titled "Only You" Robert Downey Jr. is in it.. anyway. I related to it far too much to be comfortable. In this movie, this girl asks a Ouija board when she's like 11 what the name of her soul mate is, later the name is confirmed by this gypsy fortune teller. She doesn't meet this guy and ends up engaged to someone else, until she gets a call from a guy with this name giving his regrets for not being able to make the wedding. She ends up chasing him to Italy, yadda yadda yadda. All kinds of coincidences later, she marries this guy she meets there whose name is not that name, but this was the destiny. So, yeah, complete and utter chick flick, but it left me in a turmoil.
I have had such peace these last several days that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I am on the right path. I am just really really calm. It's really unnerving, actually. Leaving me wondering, what bad thing will happen? What will disrupt this calm? When am I going to go down the slide of emotions again? I was riding high there for a while, and now that things have resumed normal status, I'm just waiting to go back down. Very bizarre.
I've given so much thought lately to destiny, fate, being who you're supposed to be. The ONE. ;) Well, here's the deal, I've been waiting for him my entire life. I don't want to make a mistake and settle for someone who doesn't complete me, and vice versa. The girl in the movie falls for this guy who understands her, their souls align, but he doesn't have the right name. Dude. That to me is the most important thing. Souls connecting.
There are two guys in my life right now that I have a question mark over. But, in reality, there is just one. The one who has been my best friend for a long time, is not really a question mark, it will never happen. There's just too much there, I just couldn't. The other, I just have no idea if he likes me or not. Sometimes I think so, but I don't know. And he lives further away.... but we seem to appreciate the same things. Bah. Life is hard.
And of course because God loves coincidences in my life... JUST AS I FINISHED WRITING THAT, Enya comes on singing this:
Who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time
And who can say if your love grows
As your heart chose, only time
Who can say why your heart sighs
As your love flies, only time
And who can say why your heart cries
When your love lies, only time
Who can say when the roads meet
That love might be in your heart
And who can say when the day sleeps
If the night keeps all your heart
Night keeps all your heart
Who can say if your love grows
As your heart chose
Only time
And who can say where the road goes
Where the day flows, only time
Who knows? Only time
No words. Goodnight.
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