Winter continues

I've slacked off this month as far as my routine goes. Granted I have been working alot more, French got paused, just because I got impatient with learning it. There are so many rules and variations of words that I do not understand, and I have no one to ask WHY. So I've been frustrated and busy. This will change though, because I really do want to learn it, I just have to figure out how to do it better. I think books in French would help.
Over the last week or two I've realized something critical. I am a crazy person. Funny I didn't realize it before, I know. I am quite aware that crazy things happen in my life... all the time. But, somehow I didn't connect the dots to myself. Avoidance I guess.
I came to this realization completely the other night as I drove back to Ohio from my 3 day stay at the beach for my brothers birthday. Ayyoub called me, and ended up telling me that he wouldn't be back on the Outer Banks until May. Which is sad, but I mean, not that far from March. However, then I started thinking about it. I was only around him for 5 days before we both left. 5 days. When I see him again in May it will have been 7-8 months since I'd last seen him. That's crazy. He and I are barely past the acquaintance stage, so there is nothing there. But dang. Who else retains a crush like this? No one. I realize it isn't May yet, but, I don't see things changing. But maybe they will.
The last guy I had a real crush on, I still love him- and it's been 4 years. See? I am a crazy person. It's funny to think about. He's married now with another child on the way, and I still talk to him alot. He is one of my closest friends afterall. It must be different to be "in-love" and not just "love". I love very easily and quickly- and I have yet to find it ever ceases. But, I have yet to be "in love", I assume it's different, though I'm not sure how. I guess it would change from love it inlove if the other person ever reciprocated. But that has yet to happen, so I guess we'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it, eh?
There was a guy here recently who asked for my number. He was cute. Unfortunately he had strikes against him, he already had 4 children, was 31 - never married. Then when he texted me that evening he asked for a picture of me in my pjs since that was what I was wearing at the time. All kinds of awkward. Dude. I am not that girl. I'm sorry I didn't warn you, but I am different. He hasn't talked to me since. What a world we live in.

So for now I'll continue my life- being there for my friends when they need me- which for the majority of them is the only time they call, going to work 6 days a week, working out at the gym, and continuing my French. Such is the extent of my life, with the occasional mind blowing read of a book that changes the course of my life, which happens fairly consistently once a year or so. :)

March is coming...