what does it all mean?

So as this year comes to a close, I have the day off of work, so it's a day of reflection for me. I've been dreaming a lot lately of people. I send them messages to tell them that they are thought of. Love should be shared.

I mentioned last time I wrote that there was a guy that likes me. I don't know how I feel about him. I like him sure, I like that he likes me. But, is there more? I don't know. Am I just going along with it because I've been alone for so long? Or am I second guessing myself because I don't know how this is supposed to work?
Is it just because we're still practically strangers that think that other is attractive and their personality and interests mesh with their own?
It's so complicated that it makes me want to give up. But then I think about it, and I know that that is stupid. I want to know how this will develop, I do. It's just the time that it takes to get there is slow going. I have 5 months to decide. Then he leaves.
He's a first mate on a yacht - they got here the beginning of the month and were here 6 months. He's on  a trip to the Bahamas right now for a few days. So another few days for me to think about things. He told me Sunday night that he had lied to me about his age. He's 5 years younger than me. It's a lot. It scares me. Granted, he acts older than his age, but still. If he'd told me straight off the bat how old he was for real, I would have never given him a chance. But now... I have never given any guy a chance before who tried to like me. I always knew straight off we weren't a match. This one, the only problem I have with him is that he's young. And that we still hardly know eachother. Friends is so simple, you mesh without other anxieties in the way. This is so much more complicated.
I do like him.  But is this how it's supposed to be?  Time will tell.


This next year I want to love more easily, I want over think things less, I want to learn new things, I want to try more activities, I want to laugh more. And see my family more because I miss them.