dreams of you

I dreamt of you last night.
In the dream I was with your mom, she got a phone call from some old friends of hers. They were going to be at your house for Christmas Eve. She hadn't planned on going over there at all, and the weather was bad, so she was telling them that she wouldn't be able to drive her car over there. I volunteered to drive her, to which she gratefully accepted. There was this whole discussion of me telling her how I couldn't stay too because you would be there.  But when I brought her, it was insisted upon that I should stay. I came inside, your house wasn't quite the same as in real life- as dreams are wont to do. I could see Ian and Brandy sitting on the couch in the living room. I got the impression you were with them just around the corner out of my view point, so I didn't enter the room. I had zero desire to foist myself on you. Your mom went in there to see her friends also, so I made my way out to the yard.
I find myself back inside sitting at a table. Ian and Brandy join me, as does your mom. And then you come around the corner. You are in a mechanical wheelchair- paralyzed- with limited movement.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw you. "I didn't know. Motorcycle accident?" I asked. "Yes. But I get around okay with these eight buttons." There was humor in your eyes. I slid out of my chair to the floor,hugging my knees and sobbing.
It was impressed upon me that this wasn't permanent. But the look in your eyes- the anger and pain were gone. Just humor and love were left. It was the fact that this was the catalyst for you to learn truly- the love of God, and you couldn't play your guitar or walk - but there was humor in your eyes.  I woke myself up. I couldn't dream this dream.
I fell back to sleep.
 I was still without a home. Staying with random people. Your mom had moved back in, and she insisted that I spend a night there. You were home, so I didn't want to. I managed to avoid you, but when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you were asleep on the couch. I tripped over your feet as I walked back to the bed where I was sleeping. You stirred but didn't wake. But then as I headed up the stairs I saw you just looking at me. I got back into bed, all worried because I didn't know how you'd react to my being there. But then, you followed me up the stairs and crawled into bed next to me.


I miss you.