you know how sometimes

you know how sometimes clarity strikes and epiphanies happen?  I didn't cry, but there are tears not far below the surface.
For the past 3+ years my life has been wrapped up in a mess, a mess that has largely involved Micah, and Eve. 3 years ago I was in the process of leaving the outer banks, on my way, I would stop in Colorado meeting Micah and visiting Eve for a week - cementing our friendship that had been brief and long distant for the year and a half prior.
I was able to be there for her through out the whole mess that happened with her life and relationship- and by the time it was over, I was living in a place that she was inclined to go, and I had the friends to build her a support group.
Now if Micah and I were still together at this point- because of his issues with his ex's not letting him have anything to do with his children and destroying him with that.... he wouldn't be on Eve's side with this. He would be on her exs.. and it's easy for me to feel compassion for him- because I too think of Micah's situation. But, it is not in Eve's best interest- she needs to be harsh and strong- because of the damage he's done to her and will continue to do if given an inch. So, being on the outside looking in, I can advise her to be strong. And not allow him grace- because grace solves no problems and only creates them. This is a case where harshness is the only answer that shows love. Hard love, but love.
So the moral of this story- I see now why we couldn't be together at this point. It would have destroyed us.