seriously f'd up.

So, in the whacked out story that is my life here goes this one.

Eve is telling me that she joined plenty of fish, but her profile keeps getting deleted. So, I figure I would get on and see if mine did the same thing.  So, I go to the site, and 4 years ago I had made a profile on there, and it was still there. It was hidden, so that no one could find me. So yesterday morning, I unhid it, just to see what would happen.
Straight off a person named Micah messages me. and then another guy that looks interesting, and ironically his name is Dane.  (My Micah has a brother named Dane.)  Anyway, I basically shut down the guy named Micah because he sent me a picture I didn't want to see, especially straight off... but I continued to talk to the guy Dane... he was an interesting person. Agreed to meet up with him, so he came up here and we went to the local mexican restaurant. Had good conversation,  and it was raining out, so I told him he could come back to my house and sit on the couch. So, we just chilled at the house for the next few hours.  It got to the point where we didn't really know what more to say and I could tell he was wondering if he should make a move- so I sent him home. Nicely- and told him that I'd like to hang out tomorrow if he wanted to.  So, anyway- after he left I texted him saying thanks for driving up, for a good afternoon, all that stuff and his response was just "welcome". So I don't think that we'll be seeing eachother again.  I was in bed, just thinking about stuff, the weirdness of the coincidences, I mean, seriously God, what the hell? This guy Dane is basically the not quite christian version of my micah.  Lot of guns, a taurus, super handy, loves his dog. Has visions that come true, likes people, but doesn't at the same time- just wants to get away.  I didn't ask if he played any instruments, but I didn't get that impression. So that's different. Neither one of them read very much, and neither have any appreciation for sports or tv.
So, it was just weird.  So I'm laying there stressing. God, why? What do you want from me? was my hearts' cry.  So I open the bible app on my phone just to get some answers maybe, and the first thing I see?  The verse of the day that they picked was this:  "rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
Do you realize how much that applies to the situation?  "Hope" was the word for moving here. Everything was about hope in the face of darkness. Prayer- the only thing asked of me. The only thing I can do.  When I saw that- the tears fell.   I miss him. I want to move on, but the universe keeps saying no. Why, God? Why?!