moving on

So, following the last post- things got wonderful- we had mended things to an extent- talked some things through, and then of course- it exploded in my face again.  And on that note, I am moving to SC.

I'm not at all certain of this decision, I have incredible trepidation in fact. It's unbelievably sudden...I have a job that I will start on Friday. I'm concerned about it, just because it's really different from what I've been used to doing for the past several years. But, mostly I'm concerned about the living situation there. I know for a fact that I cannot afford to live in Charleston by myself. And I know that I don't want to be spending all of my money on rent. 

It doesn't really and truly make sense. I have a feeling it's going to be temporary. Like until the end of January, and then come back down here.... Unless I'm just making a shit ton of money and can actually afford to save and live up there.

Last night after driving from 3:30am-9:00, and then from 12:30-6 I made it back here, and then went down to Heaths to grab my heating pad that I had left for him while he was sick. I didn't tell him I was coming, and his roommate ushered me inside. Heath got super cranky, but then walked me outside. You could smell the alcohol coming out of his pores. He'd definitely gotten tore up the night before.  There was no apology and I asked no questions, he just told me about his day and I told him a little about mine.  Then he was like "can we talk later, I'm so tired."  Yeah, sure, man, you're tired. I didn't stay up all night the night before stressing about you, and then drive 11 hours and make the decision to move all in one day. This is the last time you'll ever see me.... yet you either don't realize or it makes no difference.
Oh well.  If my heart ever needed cured, that would do it.