End of an Age

Next week will be the last kids club. (For those of you who are unaware, I run an after-school kids program downtown.) I don’t know how I feel about the end of it. With the exception of one week, I’ve had these kids every Wednesday since September. There are two of them that I don’t think I will ever be able to reach. They’re too old and set in their ways. But they all love me, and I love them. So, part of me is sad that I’m ending this. I just know, as you also know, that I am at a major crossroads, and I feel like the time to stop is now.


The last 2 weeks, other people were there with me. Both of those times, these people were talking about salvation (something I never do) and one of my boys mentioned both these weeks that he was afraid of dying. The response he got to this was lame. These were the two weeks I either had no voice or would start coughing after a few words, so I said nothing to him about it. Today I wanted to ask them what they feared most, but there were other issues going on. Besides, it would be a question better left for a one on one conversation. I was fairly withdrawn myself due to the introspective writing this morning. The time for that conversation was for some reason, not appropriate for today. I don’t know how I will leave them. I want them to know as they get older, even if I don’t do another kids club next year, I will be there for them, if they need me. How do I do that?



Today was an amazing day, by the way. I got up and went downtown to the local coffee shop. I sat outside as the warm wind blew and the sun shone brightly. I sat there and wrote the previous entry, drinking my strawberry smoothie- until the wind blew in the clouds and kept gusting my papers away. It was beautiful. Late in the afternoon with the kids, I took them to the park and sat on the swings while the wind blew. I tell you this: there is not much that makes me happier than the feeling of the wind blowing my hair and swinging. :-) Leaning back on the swings, and letting my hair touch the ground… awesome. :-) That was my day, aren’t you jealous?