Adventures

So I haven't said anything in a while, but that's because I've  been adventuring. Last week I retired temporarily again, and left for Florida to try to get my car title. It didn't pan out. I was unable to get it, so that means it was a waste of a trip. However!  I got to see almost all of my best friends down there, from the police officers and firefighters to Lauren and CJ- and all others in between.
Probably the most memorable conversation was with Heather. I had worked with her for probably 4 months at Deerfield café, I'm not usually friends with the people I work with, but before I moved away, she asked if I'd get coffee with her- so we exchanged life stories. We've kept in infrequent contact since then, but she noticed I was in town and asked if we could meet up.  She caught me up on her life, and I found out more about her. She's lived a really rough life, and her view of the world really reminds me of Micah's. "Life is shit." haha And they have good reasons for feeling the way they do. I don't know how I draw the people in my life that I do.
This need of mine to be needed, how do I fix that? Because that's how I adopt the people in my life that I do. They need me, I try to help them fix themselves, I show them my life and my views and the magic I possess. I don't know.

After I left florida, I made the 17 hour drive to Micah's new apartment in Texas. We'd done pretty well at not talking for a month. But the 2 days previous we had had 2, 15 minute phone conversations. As I drove scenarios would play in my head about what it would be like to see him again, but then I would stop myself. I couldn't project because I didn't want to be disappointed and I had no idea what to expect. A month of not talking = a month of change that you're not privy to.
But as I got there, and got hugged, worries were gone, and I was home again. Damnitalltohell.  Things were normal. He caught me up on most of the massive changes in his life. His son is changing him and growing him like nothing else. It's so awesome to see the man he is becoming.
This was a hands-off reunion besides the couple of hugs. I slept on the futon that night. When I woke up the next morning, I had a hard time holding back the tears. Why do I always have to drive away from this boy? It kills me.

Now I am here in Colorado- in the town where we lived. Hanging out with our friends. And I miss him. It's hard to be here without him.
I was walking down the street- the same street I was walking down the day I moved here. I hadn't seen him yet. He called me, he was walking down the same street, but staying out of sight and laughing about his ninja skills. When all of a sudden I saw him, and it was so funny, and he was so in love with me. And everything was right in the world.  And God damn, as I walked down the street again yesterday, it replayed in my mind, and I couldn't hold back the tears. I miss him so.
I know that where we are now, and what we're doing with our lives is what needs to happen. I have no regrets, every step has been important. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him. But life goes on.