Oxymoronic

How can you be fine yet not at the same time.
I miss him desperately today.  I don't know why.  Maybe it's  about to be that time of the month.  Wherein emotions run stronger,  and feelings are dangerous.  Today on the way home from my 14 hour work day,  the lady at the gate told me she thought she smelled something weird coming from my car.  That would be just about right,  if it died just as I need it to leave.  She kept saying as I drove away "get your boyfriend to check it out!  Seriously get your boyfriend to smell it! " I just smiled and drove away.
I caught a whiff of something as I was parking,  but didn't smell it once I got out of the car.  And I don't have someone to check it out.
I got a new phone last week because my contract was finally up and everyone complained about not being able to hear me.  Some of my pictures got transferred,  most did not.  One that did is a picture of his smiling face,  the first one he ever sent me. .. And whenever I open the photo gallery,  it's right there.  Maybe I should delete it.  It makes me miss him,  or it makes me smile,  or it makes me sad, or it makes me happy . How does one photograph have all that?!
I don't feel broken anymore,  I don't even feel empty.  Life is good.  I just miss him. Oh well.