In my dream I was back here on a visit. But it wasn't here like I know it, things were different. There was a girl who was pregnant that I knew as an acquaintance, she told me how she'd known I was back, a premonition, and she was glad! I was vaguely surprised, I didn't really know her, so why? I started to go on my way, but then looked back at her. She was on her knees, praying and sobbing, so I immediately turned around and went back to her and put my arm around her, asking her to tell me what was wrong.
She told me of her premonitions, they happened all the time, premonitions of death and disaster to the people around her, so she would warn people. But she lived in a constant state of fear.
"There was a constant theme in the Bible, "fear not" Jesus tells us this over and over again." I told her. "But, they might die!" "So what? God uses everything for our good, even if it looks bad initially. This persons death might have a profound impact on another persons life, and changes the path they were on."
This conversation went on and on. The dream fast forwarded, maybe I came back to visit again, I'm not sure. "where is (that girl)?" I asked. "She moved to Columbus. It was as though she just decided not to be afraid anymore."
The dream switched. I was back in France. I was standing next to Damien, the guy I met there. "Oh, you two look perfect together!" someone was gushing. I rested my head against his shoulder.
But, I knew this was the life I had chosen out of fear. I was too scared to trust God to move to Louisiana, I was too scared to trust what he'd said in regards to Micah. God was going to be wrong, so I had to be in control. So my life was fine, but not extraordinary.
I woke up.
I scanned my facebook news feed. A woman I knew a couple years ago that lives here on the beach from church posted. She was telling how one year ago she and her husband sold their house because they needed to get out of debt. So they trusted God, the house sold and they had nowhere to live, but in the nick of time something opened up, and over the following year blessings rained down on them, and they are just finishing building their dream home. Free from debt, all because they trusted God with something huge.
God knows at this time how terrified I am to trust him. I play it off that I'm not. But in my heart of hearts, I think he's got it all wrong.
So he reminds me in dreams, he reminds me awake "FEAR NOT'.
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