Now I am perfectly aware that the one I love has no hold over me, and has made it perfectly clear he doesn't want me. Which is why I don't feel that I have been unfaithful to him. Yet, at the same time, there is a part of me that wonders if I have been unfaithful to the promise of God. I don't think so, but, I think it's at the point where I need to recuse myself. If I let it develop any further, the pattern of using could become too much.
My life is a delicate balance, and he filled a spot that was lacking, but if I allow it to continue I will do damage not only to myself but to him. Because then the question will arise, if your heart is occupied, why did you let me...? whatever. And I don't want that. I don't want to damage anyone, and I certainly don't want to do further damage to myself.
So, it's time to step away.
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