What do I want to say about how everything is going?
After all the nonsense with Karen, I didn't hear from H for weeks. I just let him have his space, figured he was in therapy of some sort, and that he'd reach out when he was ready. Christmas Eve I sent him an email just wishing him a merry christmas, because- I hadn't heard from him, and I missed him. Last year Christmas Eve we spent together, and that was priceless. He immediately responded to my email, and then ended up coming up and spending the whole day/night with me.
We didn't talk much about the things he's been going through, it was more of a day just to play and enjoy one another. We listened to music from our childhoods, we played around on the piano for hours... we enjoyed eachother. It was so good. Meant the world to me.
He left abruptly the next morning, as is his habit. He gets scared and runs.
He called me at 4pm yesterday and we were on the phone until after 1 am. Talked about everything, He is in therapy 3 times a week- we talked about everything he's learning and figuring out, the changes that he wants to make. It is good. I see so much improvement already. I just adore him so much. I've hit that breaking point with him so often over the years, but honestly, the thing that breaks is my expectations and my attempt to control the narrative of our story. It's when I've been able to let go and just take the moments as they come that things heal.
Where is this story going? I have no idea. Just waiting to see.
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