There's so many things to think about as this year draws to a close. This year was full of dissatisfaction, actually, and I'm sorry for that. It was a year that I felt most closed off and unhappy. But at the same time, I made true difference in people's lives. I created a home that is filled with peace and love and good things to eat.
Danette told me today that this year she plans on getting back in the studio and really working on her pottery again to sell it. - That that is thanks to me basically forcing her out to do it when I bought a booth at a craft fair and made her sit there with her pottery. I almost teared up when I read that.
When I was young- I read this book called "Invitation to live" by Lloyd Douglas and it was about helping people- discovering their spark, and then the follow through of responsibility once you have brought their attention to that spark. That with love- this is what we do for eachother- awaken eachothers divine spark and fan the flames to bring us closer to HIM.
I feel like that that is what has been being developed with Danette and I these past 3 years... who could have known at that first meeting how different our relationship would become- the lines life would travel.
I have slowly been developing a friendship with Ian, Micah's older brother, but it's hard. There's so many unknowns, should we just stay at acquaintance level, or, actually be real friends? If we should be real friends, at what level are we playing from? Or is this me, taking on another project?
It's so weird, unless I really sit down and think things through, I'm fine, I'm all good. But then the more I think the more I freak myself out. What if I'm doing life all wrong? What if I keep making a series of bad mistakes?
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