I drove to Colorado on Saturday after work to bring Eve and her baby up to Denver where I handed them off to her parents. I proceeded to go visit my littlest brother Ezra who has taken a job in Breckenridge for the next year. Running on zero sleep since Saturday morning at 5am- staying alive until 11pm on Sunday was a bit rough I can tell ya. After I left him on Monday morning, I decided to drive down to Cripple Creek and say hi to everyone that I could down there. It ended up just being Cherry- but she was really happy to see me. And she told me that Micah is getting married in 2 weeks.
Oh boy, what are you doing?
The poor thing is not in any better shape than he was when he was with me, and their whole relationship has been long distance. They'd known eachother when they were kids- so they think they know one another. But has he told her that touch feels like fire on his skin sometimes. Does she know that he wakes up crying after a night of love and there's nothing you can do about it? Does she know that the compassion he hides away in his heart is reserved for only those he has deemed worthy these days? That he has no patience for anything that doesn't directly involve him? He is not better, so how could he do this to someone else?
The only thing, she has a daughter, and that might be the thing that saves his soul and brings him out of the darkness since the majority of the darkness is from the loss of his children.
My heart is disappointed. I ask God why, as I have every day for the past almost 3 years...
The sooner I accept that there is not a happily ever after waiting for me the more content I'll be, I just haven't been able to break away completely from it yet. I'm trying though.
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