so it looks like I'll have to fly home to louisiana and pay off my installment plan. So frustrating. I had it on my old card that got lost, and I forgot, so when the payment didn't go through, they defaulted it. - making it impossible for me to fix it without going in to a location. So I booked a flight and a car, I'll be there for a day next weekend.
I got stuff for Matt for his birthday. I don't know if I should mail it to his shop again this time. It created quite the stir the last time. Maybe if I don't write weird stuff on it, it won't be suspicious.
I've realized that my brain creates scenarios, the way I imagine things will happen. How people will respond. And then when they don't, it feels like part of me dies a little bit- and I forget how to function. How does one cease to have expectations? And, is ceasing to have expectations a loss of hope, in a sense?
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