lack

In the time that I have been gone from Louisiana, all conversations about God and the things he's doing- all disappeared. I still get the occasional heart, to verify my path, but mostly the magic is just very subtle. I haven't been reading, I haven't been listening to anything incredibly meaningful. It's like everything is caught in limbo- waiting.
I feel it though, the lack.  Maybe it's a spiritual high that comes from learning new things, talking about new bits of connection.  I miss connecting with people over spiritual things. Maybe because that's what I feel is real and matters.  Having people to laugh with and talk about nonsensical things with is good too- but for me, spirituality pulls out the poetry in my soul. It brings to light magic and coincidences.
I don't feel free to embrace these things up here. I am surrounded by people who cannot conceive of a reality with magic. Or their God is too small to have grace unlimited.

I don't know how to walk.
It's hard to be me. To know what end is up. To know the next step to take. To weigh out all consequences.