So Saturday night I made yet another poor life decision. I mean, it wasn't THAT bad, but still, I allowed a line to be toed that I shouldn't've.
This is the story.
Saturday night I was working a wedding party. Downstairs there was a group of guys. I'd've rather worked that group, because I'm sure it would've been more fun. However, everytime I had to come downstairs for something, this guy would talk to me. Towards the end of the evening he was watching the VT game- he put his arm around my shoulders for goodluck when they attempted a fieldgoal. He thought it worked. We talked about where I was from- and little bits of our stories. He was married- so, I wasn't concerned, and he seemed to be a decent dude. I'm a pretty good judge of character. Well, as the evening wore on, I was ready to go, and he was still there watching the game. All of his friends had left, and he was going to have to take an uber home. "Oh! You can take me home!!" he says to me as I'm getting ready to walk out the door. "Sure!" I respond. Because, of course I don't mind. He's had a bit to drink at this point, but he's not in a bad way- I am unconcerned for my safety, because as I said, he seemed like a good dude, and by this point we're basically friends. As we're driving he asks me where we can go to watch the rest of the game. I laugh, "this is the outer banks, everything but Kelly's is basically closed at this time of night!" "ooooh! Kelly's! I've heard of that! We should stop!!!" I hesitate, I don't really want him to get any drunker, I don't want to end up taking care of a drunken stranger. On the flip side, he and I have had alot of fun throughout the evening, and if we stop to watch the rest of the game, how bad could it be? "You'll get in trouble if we stop!" I try and convince him. "No, I won't! I promise." "Alright, we can stop, just to check it out for a little bit."
So we did.
My coworker Josh, ended up being there also, which was both good and bad for me. The other guy, whose name I don't know, btw, (he told me at one point early in the evening, but it didn't stick because at the time it meant nothing to me). He decided it would be fun to make Josh jealous. I kept telling him Josh wasn't jealous, he has a girlfriend, he was just looking out for me. But, he kept insisting otherwise and would attempt, or rather pretend to attempt to grind up on me, but I'd always keep him at arms length. He would keep putting his arm around me, or putting his hat on me. And then be like, "let me know if you see someone in here you'd like. I don't wanna block you if you want to get some." "I'm good. thanks." I'd respond.
He'd texted a friend to come out also, so soon his friend showed up. I stayed out until like 11:30 and then I told him that I was going to go. I would either drive him home, or he could stay and uber home with his friend. He opted to stay, but insisted on walking me out to the car.
-I gave him a real hug, and he kept asking me to stay because we were having fun. He wanted to kiss me, but I kept having to remind him he was married. "You don't understand," he said, bitterly, "marriage has become taking out the trash and doing the dishes." "That's life!!" I interrupted. "We don't have sex anymore." "I'm sorry about that. But it's not going to happen." 'If I wasn't married, would it happen?" "Yeah, probably." I responded, truthfully. This whole time he has been leaning against me, I can feel he wants me, and he keeps brushing my hair out of my face when the wind blows. He keeps interrupting himself and me to tell me how beautiful I am, and how it's a mystery that I don't have someone.
After about a half hour of standing together talking, I finally leave.
I know I shouldn't've let him get that close. Just because it feels so nice to be wanted- the simple fact was that he was married. I should not have allowed him to toe that line, even cross it to a slight degree. I think about the fact that I allowed him to open a door to cheating, and if it was, as he claimed, the only time he'd ever considered cheating on his wife- that door has now been opened, and he'll have difficulty closing it unless something changes at home. And that's my fault for allowing it.
Granted- it could've easily been someone else, who wouldn't have his best interests at heart and would've gone the distance- but I do think I should've been better.
It's hard to not be wanted anymore. It was nice to feel beautiful and desirable.
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