I don't even actually know really what I'm thinking about at this point. I'm feeling super bored. I like doing nothing with the best of them, but it's like if I fill that time with tv- I just end up feeling bored like I wasted that time. I think that's why I enjoy working as much as I do. I don't like being stuck in my own mind for too long, it's dangerous. I like interacting with people. I like smiling and making their days be better. I like being a difference.
I miss the sun. It's only been partly sunny one day since I got here 1 week ago. This winter storm that has the whole east coast in a tizzy has finally made it here with some flurries. It was inches of rain yesterday and the ocean was fierce today with the storm winds. At least in Seattle I could go walking and adventuring- new sights and sounds. Here, it's just houses. Unless you get out of town and then it's sand dunes. Neither of which are fun in the cold and rain. It's time to batten down the hatches and find something to do indoors. But what? That remains to be seen.
2 days into the new job now, and I'm feeling pretty okay about it. They're kind of really persnickety about the methods of doing things. The 4 senior people there, two of which are the owners and the 2 managers, are extremely ocd. Luckily, I have someone like that in my life. But 4 ocd's are a bit intense, let me tell ya.
He told me today that he will still be finishing the song that he started writing for me. I was quite a bit surprised by that. I'm glad, because I love it and him. But, he felt the need to clarify that I made him feel like that for a short time. He didn't mean anything by saying that, but damn. I'm still confused at how easily he was able to not be in love anymore. I don't mind, because on the flip side he does love me. And I'd rather have love- real and true, than the "in love" fleeting emotion when the heat dies down. For me, nothing has changed except that it just seems to get deeper as the days go by. (Which will probably freak him out.) It's like that day when I decided to surrender what I thought was best for what was being told to me, it was the truest surrender I had ever experienced. And now I don't know how to rewind, and I don't actually want to. I really enjoy who I've become, and am becoming. I know that this whole thing has made me a much better person, more whole.
Tomorrow is a new day, we'll see how it goes.
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