It's sorta like I'm bi-polar about it. I'm fine about it, but not really at all on the flip side. It's super weird. I don't want to think about it. If I ignore it, it'll go away, right?
I couldn't sleep again last night. But I don't know if I was stressing out more about the fact of what could be, or the fact I was stressing at all. Plus then, I told him to read this, because I've wanted to tell him since I found it, but couldn't. And he never responded. So the stress dreams I would have as I halfway dozed, were typically scenarios that didn't happen, and wouldn't happen in real life. I was thinking about my reason for telling him. It was the bi-polar part that is not okay with the idea, and I didn't want to be the only one who knew. It was very selfish of me. I don't know anything for sure. Why put that burden on anyone else, let alone the one I love. That's crazy.
Tricksy tricksy thing life is.
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