I can't even tell you how new information makes me doubt everything. Was I entirely in my head? Was I making words and actions into something, when there was nothing there? Part of me screams "No. There was something there. Don't let it effect you."
But the other part of me is simply defeated. "How could I have been so wrong?" I'm just going to tell you, never ever before in my life have I been more wrong about things than in the last 3 months. Part of my ego plays off the notion that I'm never completely wrong. But now it's like I'm getting slammed from all angles and the drum beat is "You lose. You lose. You lose."
But I do realize that this is all in the past now. My present is just void, so my brain isn't staying in the moment very well right now.
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