And there goes that

I believe Micah ended our friendship today. Blaming it on me, actually, because supposedly it isn't healthy for me. *shrugs* Pretty sure that was supposed to be my call.
I hate that we have talked about our lack of relationship every talk for the last few weeks. I didn't want to. I don't want to. I know it's not there. But I was loosing my friend, and didn't know what to do or what to say. And now I have lost him. I'm kind of just numb about it.  I told my sister what happened today and was able to just say, "oh well." There was no tears, it was just matter of fact. I feel like my old self. The one with no feelings.
I will hate not having him in my life, there's no doubt about that. His perspective on things helped me see things differently.
I'm kind of just at a loss at this point.
It's ironic, I said two weeks ago, "we're closer than we've ever been" to today, it's gone.
I don't have words. All I can say is "I don't even know." I don't know what I'm feeling, I don't know what I'm thinking, nor do I know what I should be thinking for feeling. There's just loss and emptiness- and just numb. No grief, just vacant.