It's not? Are you sure? It feels like it. I'm going to have to hide him on facebook. Seeing him communicating with everyone in that arena- more so than usual- it makes it feel personal. I'm suddenly the one he can't handle talking to, when that used to be reversed.
I have to shut down, again. I feel like a bitchy teenager. I don't want to be that person. I can fake it. I've been practicing on being real, but, who knows, maybe that's just been another form of faking it.
Does this mean I should fake it for the last 8 weeks at the deli? I don't know if I can.
I asked my other coworkers at the deli if they felt the same way as the boss. They all said no. I didn't think that they did. This is so out of left field, I don't understand it at all. If I quit, that's saying goodbye to a guaranteed $2500 probably more.
I have a migraine. I have to work in an hour. Can I just sleep instead?
This may be the stupidest I've ever been. I have let feelings rule my life instead of my brain. I understand why he needs his space. I understand why he can talk to everyone else except for me. I understand.
I understand why the boss is reacting the way she is.
But here's the deal. I do have feelings, and they get hurt. But I cannot allow them to rule. They ruin my life.
How does one love completely without letting down the walls that the brain must put up to keep the emotions from taking over what makes sense? I don't know the answer to that. I know just the other day I said the day would come when selfishness would win out. Obviously it happened. I cannot be that person.
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