the words of the end

"Sometimes we want what we want more than we want what we need, I'm not sure this is healthy for you."

It was with those words. I couldn't sleep again last night. The stress has my heart rate too high to relax. My brain wouldn't shut off.

Those words need to be said directly back to him. He wants her. She's not healthy. She makes him unhealthy.
But, that's his choice.
I'm tired of fighting. I hate conflict. I hate walls. I hate disharmony. If I'm not wanted or needed- I can't fight. It disarms me. And I stand there like the knight in Monty Python who tries to keep fighting even though his arms, legs, everything gets hacked off and gushing blood.
I want to keep fighting. Because I feel like it's important, but I have nothing. There is no reason for him to be friends with me. The things I brought to his life before, don't apply anymore.